Everybody has a job to do. For the first two humans life consists of gardening and naming everything in Eden. The fun doesn’t start until, on their time off, they seek wisdom. Once they get wisdom (that’s supposed to make them godlike), all they realize is that they’re naked. The search for wisdom only ends in embarrassment. This embarrassment is the birth of shame . . . which explains all the sorrows to come.

The first couple have two kids. They have jobs too. One becomes a farmer, and the other, a rancher. One kills the other because the creator, having no experience in child rearing, compliments one’s work and not the other, which creates jealousy. Shameful. (Must not have been a lot of thinking going on between naps on that seventh day.) The remaining kid has to leave home and goes off to the next town, Nod, to find a wife and start a family of his own.

It makes you wonder. If Eden was the first inhabited place in the world, How did Nod get there? And if we’re still in the seventh day of creation . . . When is the creator going to wake up from that nap?

Alternative Theories to the Big Bang

These latest theories contest the validity of the Big Bang. Recent data from our new Hubble telescope find young things at the edge of the known universe when there should only be older cosmic structures. Both of these theories infer that “the universe is dynamic with creation and destruction ongoing and continuous.”

The new steady state theory sees galaxies as “huge recycling systems that go on forever.” Here matter is ejected out of a central “neutroid” and after millennia of spiraling outward falls back into itself.

In the symmetric theory the engine of the universe is located in black holes. The center of a black hole is so infinitely dense that its gravitation pulls in everything around it. Even itself. This force is so powerful that even time and space become warped, meaningless, and cease to exist. Adjacent to the central black holes are white holes that eject the stuff of the cosmos simultaneously. The known universe seems to be scattered with these holes.

The universe can be imagined as a huge mass of spaghetti, like some big, intertwined Möbius strip or even a massive bedsheet with no edges that perpetually folds in and through itself.

It makes you wonder? When did all this infinite creation and destruction start? And Who cooked it all up in the first place?

Creation Myth This tale is adapted from the Zohar, a medieval commentary on the Kabbalah.

In the beginning is EIN SOF (“without end”), an undifferentiated light-filled essence without being, which permeates the universe in every direction. Needing to define itself, EIN SOF makes room for creation by withdrawing into itself. This withdrawal, or “TSIMSTUM,” creates a vacuum in its center which is called “AYIN,” or nothingness.